How Many Times Do You TRY?

NLP, NLP Coaching

by Dr. Kim Redman

as published in SNAPD Aurora

How many times should you try something before you give up?

Isn’t that a great question.

We call this the “No Number” in Coaching. How many no’s = no go, for you…or do you go until you get there? First of all let’s address the wording in the question because it has the word “try”. Try means fail. Go ahead and try to hold a pen…you can’t do it. You either hold a pen, or you don’t. As Yoda said, “Do or do not. There is no try”. Instead, do your best in the moment. Really DO your best and commit to getting a result.

This concept of commitment to outcome is a key in NLP Coaching, and it reminds me of a big learning that I received working with Native Shaman, Kahu Fred Sterling, who is also the Minister of the Church of Light, in Hawaii. Kahu Fred is a guy’s guy, and likes to ‘give it to you’ straight from the heart.

His saying is, “5 or 50”. What that means is that you don’t get judged on how many steps it took you to get to your goal, you get assessed by whether or not you engaged and took the journey.

Here are some guidelines to use:

  • Assess whether you really wanted the outcome in the first place, or whether you were doing what someone else wanted you to do. In order to have real success, you have to really WANT it.
  • Remember that deeds speak and talk is cheap, so actions and words should match.
  • You have to have a plan and be actioning that plan. No plan, is like trying to hit a moving target. No one hits a moving target very well at all.
  • You must spend time, money, and energy in a way that backs your new decision.
  • If you are stuck, DO IT DIFFERENTLY. Often it is the HOW that is the problem, not the WHAT of the outcome. We often want to be right and do it our way, rather than the effective way. This is a leadership component too.

We do an in-depth outcomes segment at our weekend events, including reverse-engineering, and give that as one of many templates around leadership. To learn more about how to get to your outcomes with greater intention check-out our “What Is Your Next Steps” offers below.

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