by Dr. Kim Redman
as published in SNAPD Aurora
I’m certain that countless of our readers have undergone self-improvement or skill building only to find that within a month, a week perhaps and often times even within just days that skill or learning has been lost and old habits have returned.
Then here are my 4-Steps for making change STICK.
For myself, I looked to the garden as my expert model. It is clear that each skill I want to add into my life has it’s own specific requirements and yes there is a process to making change stick. Here is the general process:
Physically I would need to invest time to clear out my old decomposing *stuff*. That amounts to creating at least the same space and time I would dedicate to my garden, and being as ruthless as I am with my weeds in removing and avoiding behaviours that do not support change. This especially applies to managing my emotions.
Prepping the Soil.
That amounts to finding and studying the behaviours and skills of growth. So I not only needed to stop doing something, but also needed to start doing a different something. If I haven’t directly been taught something, or observed it in detail, I’m never going to get it right. I need to reach out and have someone show me how!
Planting the Seeds.
Here is where I get to action the specific new skill sets I want tin my life. This is about doing it, and understanding that ‘not doing it’ is just a part of my old pattern. When I find myself ‘not doing’, I just gently choose to ‘do the new’ thing. Patterns take time to put down strong roots. Twenty-eight days with a new skill will give you those roots.
Pruning as You Grow.
Now that you are experiencing the benefit of you r own growth, remember to prune as you go and grow. Continually remove the dead-heads of your life, and tend the growth with attention and tender loving care.
Have fun with yourself and your new garden, your ability to sustain change. To quote Socrates “If excellence is a habit, than excellence is merely the product of what I do.”
WHAT IS YOUR NEXT STEP?
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